Thursday, May 15, 2014

YOLO

Anyone else hate this 'you only live once' crap? Not that the idea isn't a sound one, in the sense that we only get one shot at life IN THIS WORLD, but the way it is used is revolting. Living without regrets SHOULD mean that one thinks about life from the perspective of the last moment. I often meditate upon death not in a morbid death, but in the sense of that moment going with me wherever I travel, reminding me to respond to this moment in light of a life that is, ultimately, limited.

Now I believe in eternal life. But I think that you cannot get more out of eternity than you put into it. In other words, I believe this world to be what some philosophers call 'a veil of soul-making'. We become more or less substantial in Heaven based on what we do here in this world. Thus this world is of supreme importance, even while it's ultimately meaning is grounded in the eternity of God. This life is a supreme gift: it is the only opportunity we have to actually give TO God. Heaven is God's endless opportunity to give TO us. When this attitude is attained, death no longer becomes some final devourer of all we are and all our life means. Rather, it is a companion on the journey that helps us remember to make this moment one of those that will last forever.

I do not always live this way, and maybe I don't even usually live this way, but I live this way some of the time and SEEK to live it all the time. So I meditate on that last moment. What will I think, or what would I think if I had the ability to think in such a moment (given that the actual moment may be surrounded by circumstances that make reflective thought impossible)? I can't help but think that the only regret I can possibly have bother me is that I did not love more. My regrets will be filled with the moments that were self-serving, and defined by lust, pride or anger. I doubt many people wish that they'd partied more, or done more drugs, or had more sex. But a great many people probably regret not getting involved, not saying 'I love you' to that one person or to that one person one more time. Connecting with people on a deeper level is something people probably wish for as life ebbs away.

So I seek to get involved, as much as possible. I don't deny or avoid fun, on the contrary I seek new experiences that enrich life. But the center of my life is God first and people second. I want to love more, I want to hate less, I want to find peace and avoid worry as much as I can, and I want to say "I love you" as much and as often as possible. There are some regrets I cannot, and indeed do not want to, discard. I have done evil in my life, and I will always regret the degree to which I hurt God and other people. I have crucified Christ. But I have died with Him, too. And I've risen with Him. I want my satisfactions to outshine my regrets in my last moments. I want to die with the word 'love' on my lips. Hey, you only live once.

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