Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Hardest Truth

I believe that Love and Truth are one. That Love is the ultimate truth of the universe. Yet I know that this belief stands on uncertain grounds. It is perhaps the biggest risk I take with myself as a person. I can pretend to no certainty on this issue. One of the hardest things to face is the possibility that I live in a universe where Love and Truth are in conflict with one another.

Faced with the choice, which choice would I make? Which do I value more: Love or Truth? What I want to say is that I value Truth over Love. This seems the braver thing, the harder thing. I want to be able to say of myself that Truth matters more to me than Love. But if I'm pressed. If I'm forced to be honest with myself, I have to admit that I love Love more than I love Truth.

This is a scary thing because it admittedly make me more prone to self-deception. Yet my pretense to putting truth first is just that: a lie. I need love. I need to be able to connect with people on the deepest level, without having that love undercut by misery and fear. I need other people. I am not self-sufficient, complete unto myself. My attachments are what make me human. As much as I admire Buddhism, I cannot walk down that road. I must love the world so much that the loss of any part of it should destroy me. Yet how can I live with the certainty of being destroyed? For certainly loss must come.

But to admit that I value love above truth is not to deny that truth is of great value. Truth matters, and matters much. I want the truth. I do not want to be deceived. I do not want to deceive myself. I cannot survive in this world void the sentiment expressed by Lorenzo Albacete in the link below. It is a must-needs of my heart and mind that Love and Truth are ultimately One. No one argued better from this need than Miguel De Unamuno (THE TRAGIC SENSE OF LIFE), though Albacete's GOD AT THE RITZ is not too far off, and is far more accessible.


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