Saturday, April 6, 2013
Conflicting Tendencies In Mysticism
Spending time reaching out directly to the divine changes a person in the strangest of ways. The weirdness of God makes one weird. This tends to make it harder for others to be around you. Mystics tend to sound a little crazy. This makes people uneasy and may even push them away. Paradoxically, closeness to the Divine awakens one to the Interconnectedness of all things. You feel closer to people, and yearn more for community. Yet you sometimes feel like your way of life leads to a risk of isolation. Moses' face shone with such brightness he had to veil it or risk terrifying the other Israelites. David danced naked through the streets. Isaiah walked around naked for three years, and Ezekiel laid on his side for months. Jeremiah 20 recounts the prophet's inner contradiction over all of this. He proclaims his love for his people and his desire for community, yet proclaims all the ways in which his calling has isolated him. He accuses God of "conning" him. Any person who really seeks a deeper faith can probably identify with this sentiment to some degree. The mystic even moreso.
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I feel I am losing a close friend due to my relationship with God. I have been trying not to talk about my spirituality around them, but it always finds a way to come out. I am struggling with whether our friendship has come to an inevitable end, or if I am supposed to stick around for some greater purpose. I don't feel my beliefs are overwhelming nor do I feel my conversation is uncomfortable, but it seems to be very uncomfortable for this particular individual. It is difficult to turn away from a friendship when one has invested so much time and knowing that the person has a good heart. But I recognize we are both in different places in life and maybe I have just taken a different turn; unforutnatley it is without my dear friend :-(
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