Monday, February 3, 2014

Lessons From The Death of a Master Artist

Phillip Seymour-Hoffman was one of the great actors of our times. He was prolific, embodying roles both large and small in some of the best films of the last 20 years. In every role he played, he elevated the part, transforming it into genuine art. Some actors play their best in big films and mainstream cinema, others fail when they foray into the mainstream and shine only in small independent parts. Hoffman was rare in that he elevated films-for-entertainment into something more, and made smaller independent films something that could appeal to almost any audience, if they were only exposed to it.

His best known parts were probably "Big Lebowski", "Almost Famous" (God he was great in that film), one of the Mission Impossible films (one of the few he was in I didn't see), "Capote", "Doubt", and the recent "Hunger Games: Catching Fire". But he had dozens of other roles you probably know nothing about, many of which were, in my humble opinion, his greatest. Two in particular come to mind: "Flawless", where he played a drag queen who has a redemptive relationship with a man struggling with speech problems due to a stroke, and "Owning Mahoney", which is the best portrayal of addiction and its consequences I've ever seen.

That last film was about a compulsive gambler, and seriously anyone who is interested in what it is like to be an addict should see that film, but Hoffman's ability to play that role so brilliantly stemmed from his own battle with his own addiction, drugs. It was this addiction that took Hoffman's life.

It is hard to explain this to someone who hasn't struggled with a demon that takes over their life like drugs or gambling can, but watching Hoffman fail in his battle is very difficult for people in recovery who looked up to him. When actors are candid about their addictions, as he was, and watch someone like him stay clean for 20 years and then fall off the wagon, well it can be disheartening. It is hard because anyone who struggles with addiction has at least some fear of failing after a long period of success. Addiction is always day-by-day, and so no addict can ever wake up and say, "that is it, it is over, no more fear of failing, I'll never fall off the wagon." Such an attitude is an almost guarantee of failure. For freedom comes by realizing one is not free, and giving your life over to God. Anything else is doomed, at least for those of us who have found sobriety in and through God alone.

Yet events like this remind us that life remains day-by-day, and we can never rest on our laurels or the amount of time we have been sober. Drug and alcohol addiction is a progressive disease. If you quit when you were 25 and you begin again when you are 45, it will not be like you take up where you left off. It is rather like you have been a continual addict that whole 20 years. Thus the danger in relapse increases over time. Each day is a struggle. Forget that and you're screwed.

I have forgiveness and anger in my heart for Hoffman. Anger, because this remains his own fault. He chose to do drugs and he has to take responsibility for them destroying him. Yet I realize that drugs, and the struggle against them, is more than just a moral struggle. If anything has convinced me that there is a honest-to-goodness devil, it is my struggles with addiction. Drugs are demonic in their ability to tempt, to coax, to inspire false worship. There is something more diabolical than simply exciting dopamine and mimicking seratonin. Those are simply vehicles for something deeper, and something darker, with a longer history. Knowing how hard this struggle is, I have plenty of grounds to forgive.

Yet I regret and will regret the loss of beauty in this world. What a terrible spoil death and the devil have won here. Anything that removes aesthetic value from the world removes at least a less diffuse form of good, and Hoffman's art had a lot of aesthetic value to add. He wasn't even close to hitting his peak yet, and he elevated the field he worked in, and the life of people in this world. He elevated mine for sure. There are maybe 5 actors and 5 actresses that are under 50 that I consider truly great, and he was one of them. What he has done stands in this world for a while longer, and I think forever in the world to come. But there will be no new plays, no new parts, and no more deepening of the cinematic experience by his hand. Death cannot take what he did and the good that lived inside of him, but it has taken what would've been. God gained so much from the life, and lost so much from the death. But due to the sacrifice, that beautiful gift on the Cross, He has forever to give now to Hoffman himself. I believe this, I believe that the wonder in his soul that made it possible for him to create such wonderful moments is not dead. If I did not believe that, if I thought the wonderful things life gives evaporate, if I thought the once was disappeared with the might've beens, I'm not sure I could go on. And I'd wind up just like Hoffman, and that is something I am committed each day to making sure does not happen.

There but by the Grace of Christ go I.

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