Sin is not simply acting wrongly, it is separation from God. Too often, Christians get moralistic. Rather than holding to broad principles they make laundry lists of which actions are 'sinful' and which are 'good'. To me, this completely misses the point of the New Testament.
Life cannot be a constant accounting of every action, in the fervent fear that one might make a mistake. Paul, as I understand him, does not think of sin as simply 'acting badly' but as separation from God. In every moment of moral calculation, the question I try to ask myself is 'does this separate me from God?' This has some unfortunate consequences for a moralistic person, it rightly makes people uncomfortable. But when examining Paul's dichotomies of flesh/spirit or law/faith, I have come to the conclusion that it is the right way to understand Paul vis a vis sin.
The discomfort comes when we realize that there is no easy once-and-for-all-time-and-all-people calculation regarding right and wrong. To be sure, there are general principles that will exclude some actions all the time. There is no way to murder or torture someone without separating oneself from God. For in such an act one literally murders and tortures God, creating a gulf between oneself and God that can not easily be traversed. Similar things go for all of the basics of the Ten Commandments. So a broad question of 'does this separate me from God' naturally excludes a number of acts across the board.
But things get complicated and grey very quickly. Is homosexuality a sin? If a homosexual says that their love for their partner brings them closer to God, how am I to evaluate this? Let me say unequivocally, that the circumstances under which homosexuality would be possible for me would so separate me from who I am that for me, such an act would undoubtedly separate me from God. I am not sure this is true in all cases. There may be some people for whom such behavior is a sin, and some for whom it is not. Perhaps some are born homosexuals and others choose it. Secularists and religionists alike are likely to dislike this view, because humans yearn from a singular and decisive 'cause' of all human behavior. I am disinclined to this view. People are complicated and their reasons for doing something are complicated. There are some sexual examples that are easier. Casual sex, I think, is such a basic violation of the purpose of sex that it cannot but separate one from God. But homosexuality is not so clear, at least to me.
There are other examples:
I know that mind-altering substances used for mind-altering ends are evil for me. I know that if I drink, it would separate me from God. I am inclined to the view that this is true for all people, but I am not certain of it. Perhaps you can drink without this separation (though I would state a strong case, I think, that casual drinking and drug use of any kind necessarily separates one from God), in which case this is not a sin for you, though it is for me.
I meditate a lot and find myself very sensitive to imagery and ideas. Horror movies affect me in a deeper way than others. I KNOW that watching such movies are sins for me. They are not sins, I think, for some of my friends who can watch them and walk away without a second thought.
In Romans 14 Paul talks about how some people observe certain holidays in a faithful way and for others such holidays would be a sin. Paul implicitly is setting up a framework like the one I have here. A framework like this is less certain, and far less moralistic. But in the end, it just makes sense to me. I cannot see into your heart on all matters. Some things are open for public judgment. Other things are about you and God. Christianity could greatly benefit by making some of these distinctions.
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